And then there’s this…

Yet again I was aired on TV at 5am. This was at the deadCENTER OKCMOA Rooftop party on Thursday night just before we saw 8: The Mormon Proposition. After they stopped filming, me and the boom mic shared a special moment together in the elevator.

This video also features “Boonee” aka “Bunny” aka Bunee Tomlinson, up and coming young Okie filmmaker. I was impressed with his short film Safe at last year’s deadCENTER, and I look forward to seeing what he does in the future.

Now if only Lucas Ross would stop lying about the $500 he owes me…

Museums, Mormons, Gays, and Iguanas

Day 2 of deadCENTER began with the Oklahoma City Museum of Art rooftop party. Once again it was hot and humid, and once again I had a blast. Oh yeah, and more Stella. I really approved of this:

After I mingled with strangers, friends, and Two Movie Guys (Lucas says I owe him $500… I remember it the other way around), we headed on over to the Kerr Auditorium for the screening of 8: The Mormon Proposition.

The film was aptly titled. Before the film, I had not realized just how much the Latter Day Saints church had been directly involved in the passage of Proposition 8 in California, which simply added these few words to the California constitution: “Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.” According to the film, only 2% of the population of California is Mormon, yet 71% of the monetary contributions toward the passage of Proposition 8 can be traced back to members of the LDS church and to the church’s finances directly. During the final week of the campaign to pass the Proposition, $5M in contributions came in via out-of-state sources, and specifically from Salt Lake City alone (Mormon headquarters). In order to pass a ballot issue in California, it was said, you need three things: money, volunteers, and a message. The LDS church had all three in abundance. With very minor assistance from a coalition of other (mostly religious) groups, they were successful in getting the Proposition passed.

As the film continually emphasized, the campaign for marriage equality has always been about people rather than politics and money. Laws have implications on real people who are trying to live their lives in the best way they can. The most heartbreaking part of the film were the details of numerous suicides by gay Mormons. One young gay man, feeling he had no one to turn to and was even hated by his family, even killed himself with a bullet to the head at a Mormon temple. Apparently Utah has one of the highest suicide rates in this country, and it has an even higher rate than most other countries in the world. The filmmakers used this statistic to imply that the high suicide rate is because of the alienation experienced by gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transsexual Mormons due to actions by their families and the church. I would need to see more solid research rather than anecdotal evidence before I could accept that particular hypothesis, but it is definitely the case that many young gay people have killed themselves and are continuing to do so because of the hate expressed to them by the Mormon church.

One of the Mormon apostles/prophets quoted in the film stated that, “the face of sin bears the mask of tolerance” and the preservation of the traditional (i.e. 1 man, wive/wives, children) family is “a core principle upon which the Gospel of Jesus Christ is based.” Being a Christian myself, the last time I checked, the core principles upon which the Gospel of Jesus Christ is based are forgiveness and redemption. The Gospel is about Christ’s sacrificial atonement for the sins of the world because of the deep love of God… Last time I checked there was nothing in the core principles of the Gospel about the preservation of the “traditional” family, whatever that means (a “traditional” family excludes childless married straight couples as well, as a friend has very eloquently pointed out). But what do I know, anyway?

After the Proposition 8 documentary, we headed over to the Iguana Lounge for some more drinkin’ and talkin’. As is always the case with Iguana, the food and drinks were fantastic! I’m about to head over to Iguana again right now for the Friday night Oklahoma Film & Music party. After that, it’s on to see Simmons on Vinyl and later the Midnight Shorts. Cheers!

Kickoff Night

My first thought after walking into the opening night kickoff party at TAP Architecture on Thursday night was, “Dangit! No cuppies!” My second thought was, “Shup up you whiny baby! There’s Stella Artois and hummus! Yay!” Just like last year, the free outdoor opening night screening and party were lots of fun, and this year the big event was complete with BMX bikers, Rollergirls, and… a karaoke cowboy (WTF?).

While I still don’t find the subject matter (BMX biking) to be terribly inherently interesting, The Birth of Big Air turned out to be a solidly entertaining documentary. Mat Hoffman, in his interviews throughout the film and during the Q&A afterward, came off as quite a likable guy. It really is amazing what Hoffman was able to accomplish, using his creativity and innovativeness to push the boundaries further and further of just how high it is possible to jump using a BMX bike on a vert ramp. Hoffman even came up with the idea of having a motorcycler pull his bike in order to gain enough momentum to make well over 20′ jumps. His body has paid the price, with a busted spleen and so many broken bones and surgeries I can’t even remember. It makes sense to me now why I had always heard the guy called one of Oklahoma’s “hometown hero” celebrities. He even tried to break records while flying an Oklahoma flag at the top of his ramp, and sported an Okie flag t-shirt during his appearance on Thursday night.

The highlight of the evening for me was, of course, seeing Spike Jonze in the flesh while he introduced the movie and stuck around for the Q&A. Even better than that was one of the questions from an emotional girl in the audience who declared her love for Jonze and stated that his movie Adaptation had changed her life. It was just the kind of honest moment I love to experience at these kind of events. It was simply adorable. She almost brought tears to my eyes.

Jonze talking about how cool Hoffman is. Hoffman trying to look bashful.

Bring it!

deadCENTER 2010!!!!! Coming to your very own Oklahoma City beginning tomorrow. I couldn’t be more excited, especially now that Spike Jonze has been confirmed to attend the opening night fundraiser! While I am not personally planning on shelling out the bucks to attend the ‘REDcenter Lounge‘ fundraiser kickoff Jonze is confirmed to attend, I will be at the All-Access Kick-Off Party, the free Kick-Off Street Party on Broadway, and the opening night (free to the public) screening of The Birth of Big Air, which Jonze co-produced with Johnny Knoxville (of Jackass fame). The Birth of Big Air is a documentary about BMX biker Mat Hoffman, who hails from Oklahoma, and who supposedly gave birth to “Big Air” by pushing the bound of gravity on the vert ramp. Hoffman will be in attendance at the screening tomorrow night as well. However, being more of a film buff than an extreme sports fan, I’m mostly crossing my fingers that Jonze will stick around and grace us Oklahomies with his presence at a Q&A following the screening. It will be interesting to see Hoffman’s story, however. Growing up in Oklahoma I had always heard about him as one of our “hometown celebrities”.

My tentative schedule for the rest of the festival has been mostly solidified; But as always, it’s subject to change based on peer pressure, whims, or exhaustion. My downtown hotel room will be a nice oasis in the case of the third contingency. Looking at the schedule, there are quite a few films I’ll be upset if I miss, but we’ll see how it goes. Here’s what I’m most looking forward to:

8: The Mormon Proposition: Mormons! Gay marriage! Prop 8! What more fascinating subject matter could there be? Knowing quite a few Mormons personally, I am very interested to find out just how the LDS church was involved in the campaign for and passage of Proposition 8 in California. I will freely admit that I am not the most unbiased of people when it comes to the beliefs of the Mormon church, but I am curious to see whether this documentary really is as even-handed as it claims to be. The deadCENTER summary states that the film “is careful not to succumb to emotional rant but chooses instead well-researched data and a range of interviews with politicians.” The film screens twice during the festival but I plan to see it Thursday night at the Kerr Auditorium.

Heart of Now: This seems like just the kind of drama that I would love. According to the synopsis, “HEART OF NOW is a quiet and understated debut feature that explores the inclination to define ourselves by the people who leave us.” This film screens Friday afternoon at 2:00, and I really hope I’m not called in to work that day (I had to agree to be “on call” for Friday. Ugh.) Zak Forsman, the director, is scheduled to be in attendance, as is the lead actress and music director.

Simmons on Vinyl: According to the author of this article, Simmons on Vinyl is fantastic! And I’m going to take his word for it. Surely he’s not biased … Wait … He’s the director of the film, you say? Oh … Well, at any rate, I’m always excited to see anything Singletree Productions comes out with. Mark Potts, Cole Selix, and Brand Rackley have a wonderful ability to make me laugh my ass off. And I like to laugh my ass off. Singletree Productions has another film screening this year during the Comedy Shorts as well, The Bedazzler.

I’m pretty excited about quite a few of the short films screening this year too, including Blastula: The Making of Embryonic (the Flaming Lips, yay!!!), and Mr. Hypnotism. I always enjoy short films, and some of the Comedy Shorts last year were my favorite films of the entire fest.

Only one more day, people. My only wish is that Cuppies and Joe will sponsor the Kick-Off Party again so I can eat my fill of Vanilla Sky cupcakes (or as I call them, my addiction). It would also be nice if the little rapping Wimgo guys from last year would perform at one of the parties. (Please, please please!!!)

I’ll see you all tomorrow night. I’ll be the one drinking the Stella Artois. Oh, wait…

deadCENTER 2010… Comin’ up!

It’s coming, and soon: deadCENTER Film Festival 2010. Last year was my first time to go to deadCENTER, and I had a fantastic time. As a self-professed film nerd it was just what I needed to start the summer off proper, and I can’t wait for the festival this year. I booked a swank hotel room in downtown OKC for Thurs, Fri, and Sat nights so I will be right in the heart of the action (plus it will be amazing to not have to drive home each night – That was the worst part of last year). Last year I blogged throughout the festival and I’ll be doing it again this year.

I’ve had fun making my pre-preliminary schedule, which I will solidify further as it gets closer to the big event and I hear a little more buzz about the films. Until then, I’ll just be counting down the days… Just 16 to go until mini-vacation of delight.

Meh.

Sorry for the silence. I blame it on 1) Ayn Rand, and 2) school… but of course I have a tendency to blame all the ills in my life and in the world on Ayn Rand. However, in this case my assertion does have some legitimacy. Stupidly, I decided to begin reading Atlas Shrugged right before spring semester started, and now I’m only 150 pages from the end of the book and I’m damn stuck. I’m about halfway through John Galt’s epic 60+ page speech and I just can’t bring myself to finish it. I’ve been stuck on this stupid speech for about a month now, since I can’t bring myself to read more than 2 or 3 pages of it at a time. It may be the end of the semester before I finally force myself all the way through Atlas Shrugged… Add to this the fact that I have I total of 44 pages of writing for school due by the end of April. Yep, I counted them up… Forty Four pages of writing due, minimum.

Wish me luck, ya’ll. And grant me grace for neglecting my blog, please. Yes, you two readers… I’m talking to you.

Preliminary Top 13 Films of 2009

I have not yet seen quite a few films from 2009, but here goes… this will give you a good idea of my taste in films:

1. Inglourious Basterds

2. [500] Days of Summer

3. A Serious Man

4. Up in the Air

5. Antichrist

6. Funny People

7. Capitalism: A Love Story

8. Paranormal Activity

9. District 9

10. Moon

11. Up

12. An Education

13. Away We Go

***I have not yet seen the Hurt Locker, the Road, Invictus, the Messenger, the White Ribbon, Crazy Heart, Public Enemies, the Last Station, or a Single Man. Yes, I have seen Precious. Meh.

Ayn Rand… self-loathing woman? Misogynist?

Oh, Ms. Rand…

I am on page 154 of your book thus far, and here are a few comments. I will lay them out in the form of an email I typed to a fellow blogger, Sarah of Two-Headed Blog, who blogged her way through Atlas in 2008, just as I am doing now. Here is a link to the first entry Sarah wrote while reading the book. It’s called Blogging the Atlas.

After reading to almost the point in Atlas Shrugged that Sarah was at when she wrote the entry above, I decided to read her detailed thoughts on the book thus far. Afterward, I sent her the following email, which sums up my thoughts as concisely as possible (I could write so much more):

Sarah,

I just read your first blog entry on Atlas Shrugged where you were about as far in the book as I am now (I don’t want to read your thoughts ahead of my own while wading through the book), I have to say that I find hardly anything I disagree with you on. I think your analysis was very well written and I greatly appreciated the brutal honesty that came with reevaluating your own views in light of Rand’s ideas.

I, too, think that Rand brings some very good points to light in the book so far. The biggest impact to me so far has actually been that the book has been really inspiring. I mean in the sense that it makes me actually want to ascribe to her Nietzsche-esque “uberman/superman/hero” ideal and go out and PRODUCE SOMETHING. I find something inspiring in her exultation of the highly achieving individual. It makes me want to try to BE more of that myself.

My main critique comes from the fact that the people and situations in her invented world DO NOT exist in reality. She writes straw man arguments and characters and then tears them down with the utmost of ease. She writes wooden caricatures, not characters. No one exists like that in real life — either on the extreme idol-worship “producer” side, or on the bumbling bureaucratic “everything is for the public good” moocher/looter type. Her black and white categorical morality gets really old really fast. In her world there is no room for gray areas, utilitarianism (of even the most modest kind), democracy, compromise, or even complexities. She sees everything as very simple.

But that’s just not how the *real* world works.

Despite myself, I really enjoy the book as a work of thoughtful fiction. However, I still can not comprehend why so many people find this thing to be soooooo freaking compelling that they would change their entire worldview based on one reading. The dialogue reads like it was written by a robot. One wonders if she ever had a conversation with an actual human being in her life. But perhaps the wooden caricatures and dialogue can partially be explained by her acquisition of English as a second language???

Plus the rampant misogyny bothers me… a lot. Ayn Rand… a self loathing woman? I vote yes. She REALLY had a thing for being dominated. She was obsessed with the inherent “superiority” (not just her preference) of male domination in the sex act and in relationships in general. It’s a little unnerving.

I look forward to reading your subsequent posts as I plow my way through this behemoth of a book.

Faithfully trudging along,
Kathy

A part of Sarah’s reply to me was as follows:

I’m the same way…I hate to read what other people have written about something before I’ve read it myself.I had the same reaction you describe (feeling “inspired”). It really boosted my work ethic for awhile, and made me want to feel joy in the act of working and being productive. I also agree with your straw man criticism. She is very black and white, and I remember having the thought that in a perfect world, she may be right about some of this stuff…but it’s soooo not that perfect world.

Weirdly though, I don’t recall being quite so struck by the misogyny. I may have cut her some slack, and chalked it up to her being a product of her time. Although, since you’ve mentioned it, I agree it’s appalling.

I’m anxious to hear your thoughts as you read on.

Regarding Ayn Rand and her warped sense of superiority/inferiority as it relates to the male/female sex act, I don’t think I could say it better than Robert M. Slade did in 1998:

Both family and sexuality are rather hideously portrayed. First, is it ridiculous to call a woman a misogynist? Rand seems to rail against the “keep ‘em barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen” mentality, but also manages to put women very firmly in a subordinate position. Sexual activity (tame as it is) seems to be more of an “acquiescence to rape” than any kind of romance. (One also suspects that Rand was into bondage, considering a great many of the descriptions and comments.)

Marriage vows in an objectivist church would probably run along the lines of “Do you promise to attempt to dominate and subdue this woman until such time as you grow bored?” “Maybe.” “Close enough. And do you promise to applaud this man`s production until such time as you find someone with a bigger … corporation?” “Whatever.” “By the power vested in me by having scammed you guys out of a marriage license fee, I now pronounce you man and appendage. May you be unencumbered by small persons.”

There are many quotes throughout Atlas Shrugged along those lines:

Hank Reardon (a hero protagonist) reflecting on his wife, “She seemed to be a woman who expected and deserved a pedestal; this made him want to drag her down to his bed. To drag her down, were the words in his mind; they gave him a dark pleasure, the sense of a victory worth winning … He felt – a profound pride at the thought of granting to a woman the title of his wife … almost as if he felt that he wished to honor a woman by the act of possessing her.”

Yes, posessing her. As in owning her.

And perhaps the most telling quote of all so far comes from another hero protagonist:

Francisco d’Anconia, speaking to Dagny Taggart: “I wish I could tell you what a relief it is to see a face that’s intelligent though a woman’s.”

That statement is rampant with subtext! I suppose Rand believes intelligent women are so few and far between that it is worth commenting on. I could forgive Rand for this due to the time she was writing in, but she created an entire world right out of thin air for her books. Rand’s New York City never existed.  People like the characters in her novels never existed. Thus she could have written anything she wanted regarding the roles and propensities of women in her made up world. It simply appears that Ms. Rand had such a low opinion of women in the real world that this animosity naturally bled over into her writing. In The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged both, the “strong” intelligent female protagonist desires nothing more sexually than to be violently dominated by (and even subservient to) “the right kind of man.” At one point in Atlas, Dagny tells her mocking brother that the reason she hasn’t shined Francisco d’Anconia’s shoes is simply because he hasn’t asked her to.

Ayn Rand as feminist? Um, no. Ayn Rand as misogynist? I’m leaning heavily that way.

IMMD

This really happened.

Today while getting an oil change I had a brief conversation with the guy working at the auto shop that made me ridiculously happy. Whenever I’m running errands that I think might involve any amount of sitting in waiting rooms I try to remember to bring some reading material along with me. Upon getting out of the car with my book, the auto shop guy noticed it and exclaimed dramatically in a tone of disgust and astonishment (direct quote):

Atlas Shrugged?!?! Is that for pleasure?!?!”

Me (kind of laughing, yet trying to deflect as to avoid an awkward conversation): Um, not exactly. No it is not.

Auto Shop Guy (obviously restraining himself from saying anything he might regret, i.e. commenting his feelings on the book): Ugh! Good.

He went on helping me with car stuff for a few minutes, and then veered back to the topic of the book.

ASG: So what class is it for?

Me: Well, it’s not exactly for a class.

ASG (again looking astonished): Then why on earth are you reading it?

Me (again laughing and smiling): Because I know quite a few people who are lovers of Ayn Rand …

The look of horror on his face was epic!

Me: … and after being told so many times that just I don’t understand the delicate nuances of her philosophy and having it implied to me that “if you just read Atlas Shrugged you would understand,” I decided to finally read it. It’s kind of an intellectual exercise.

ASG (body language and facial expressions showing his disgust for the book, and completely stammering to not say something to a customer that he might regret): Wow. Um, yikes. Well. I could… no, I shouldn’t.

Me (now super-happy and continuing to laugh): Hey, it sounds like we agree on this topic!

ASG: Yes. Yes it does.

It made my day.

Shrugging Atlas Shrugged

In discussions with most Libertarians (that I have personally encountered, especially of the Ron Paul ilk here in Oklahoma), the conversation inevitably always leads to an urging for me and other like-minded individuals to, “read Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged.” As though this epic book’s airtight logic will somehow magically turn us “collectivist moochers” and other “non-producers” into Austrian-economics and virtue-of-selfishness loving radical individualists who will instantly see the error of our ways immediately upon cracking into its 1069 pages (paperback 35th anniv edition).

I attempt to be an intellectually virtuous person (even though I fail miserably at times, as do we all). To me intellectual virtue means truly making an honest effort to grapple with the ideas presented by people you currently disagree with strongly. It means trying to see things through others’ eyes and honestly wrestling with the ideas that other people find so persuasive. Therefore, after years of resistance, I have decided to take these people’s urgings seriously and just read the damned* book and get it over with. [*]And when I say read the damned book, I mean the word literally, in the sense that C.S. Lewis used the word damned in Mere Christianity not as frivolous swearing but instead to refer to a philosophy or idea that is “damned … under God’s curse, and will (apart from God’s grace) lead those who believe it to eternal death.” †

Yes, I believe that Ayn Rand’s Objectivist “philosophy” and her elevation of the “virtue” of selfishness due to a rejection of her straw-man made up definition of altruism (that she basically invented and pulled out of her ass) is rotten to its core. I have made no attempts to hide the fact that I am a Christian. However, as rotten philosophies go, Objectivism is not only internally inconsistent, but it is evil from a secular humanist perspective as well. One can reject the existence of evil outright (I do not, but that is a discussion for another day), but Objectivist principles are also inconsistent with principles of compassion and human mercy, which many atheists and secular humanists embrace wholeheartedly. [And as a side note, I embrace atheists and secular humanists wholeheartedly, as many of them are some of the most well-rounded, caring, intelligent, and generally awesome people I know. And YES, atheists can be moral - just not Ayn Rand (likewise, believers in God(s) can be VERY immoral)]

The Libertarian will respond, “No the principles of compassion and human mercy are not inconsistent with Objectivist ideas and the Virtue of Selfishness because in our perfect Libertarian Utopian society there will be basically no want. There will be virtually no poor. If there are any needs to be met, the poor will be taken care of by private, non-coercive, charity… out of the goodness of those private actors’ hearts. This is simply how the truly unregulated free market works. Oh, and P.S. all taxes are coercive aggressive theft.”

Did you think that Libertarians were just about limited government, deregulation, and little to no taxes? Nope. Modern Libertarians base their entire worldview around a bedrock principle, set in stone, as though written by the hand of God (or some immutable “natural law”), of what they call the “Non-Aggression Principle” or NAP. Read up on it. There may be a test :-)

Anyway, back to my quest to read Atlas Shrugged. I imagine it will take me quite a few weeks or months as I tend to abandon books as quickly as I start them. However, I have to admit that after the first 30 pages or so of sub-par writing I’m a little intrigued. Perhaps bad writing appeals to me. I am already familiar with the entire basic plot of the book, just not the specifics. There are a few plot points I’m already speculating on, such as who (or what multiple people) Dagny Taggart is going to end up hooking up with / getting raped by. At this super-early stage I’m voting for either Hank Rearden or the young brakeman on the train who knew of Halley’s Fifth unpublished Concerto (Is the young brakeman Richard Halley? Is he a relative or Halley? Oooh… the plot thickens). OR… will Dagny hook up with John Galt? I mean, Who Is John Galt, after all? Why ask questions there are no answers for?

Or will Dagny hook up with / marry 3 different guys like Dominique Francon does in The Fountainhead? Oh, but wait, only the man Dominique is TRULY an equal with (Howard Roark) gets the honor of raping her in the violent sense (excluding the regular marital rape that goes on throughout the book with her other two husbands)… Er, I mean, she gives herself willingly to Roark, a complete stranger at the time, willingly in a violent way when he breaks into her room at night and has rough forceful sex with her simply because “she likes it rough.” Yeah. That’s it. Not rape at all. Not marital rape. Roark’s breaking and entering does not equal rape in the least either. Rand definitely does not glorify rape in her novels. </extreme sarcasm>

Yes, I have already read The Fountainhead in full.

In the first 30-ish pages alone of Atlas Shrugged I have highlighted some of the most ridiculous dialogue ever (“Jim, I studied engineering in college. When I see things, I see them.”) But perhaps I’ll save it for another blog post and get back to my trashy romance novel. I’m trying to be fair. The book is moderately entertaining so far. I’ll give her that!

I’ll try to blog sporadically through the book under the category “Shrugging Atlas”. I think my next post may be just a listing of some of the more ridiculous quotes from the book I have encountered thus far.

Full disclosure: If you couldn’t tell from the entire prior post, I am incredibly biased. This is why I am reading Atlas Shrugged in the first place – to see what all the effing fuss is about. In fact, my bias against Rand’s philosophy runs so deep that it can almost be entirely summed up in this GQ article from a few months back: The Bitch is Back. The entire 6-page article (mostly about ARA’s – Ayn Rand a-holes who never outgrow the “Ayn Rand stage” that most young college kids go through… much like lip rings or purple hair) is well worth your 20 minutes to read, but if you skip to the 6th page and start with the FU’s, in a moment of brutal honesty I’ll tell you that those words just about entirely sum up my personal feelings on Ms. Rand.

Now bring on the trolls!!!

____________________________________________________________________________

† Full text of C.S. Lewis’ Mere Christianityhttp://lib.ru/LEWISCL/mere_engl.txt

Because I’m Annoyed, Enjoy the Noise. Best Albums of 2009.

I need a happy distraction to get my mind away from stressing out about finishing up my one terrible statistics paper, and being horribly irritated because of a frustrating debate/discussion I have become involved in. Therefore I decided that making my pseudo-best of 2009 Albums list would be a good way to de-stress myself!

I have to preface this “list” by saying that I don’t think it’s possible for me to rank these in any order, as the ones I liked the best I just listened to over and over for months… Plus I spent about 4 months of 2009 listening to almost nothing but Fleet Foxes – s/t (which came out in 2008) on repeat, but I’m not putting it on here so as to be fair to albums that were actually released in 2009.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The best

God Help the Girl – s/t

Regina Spektor – Far

Moby – Wait for Me

Cats on Fire – Our Temperance Movement

Andrew Bird – Noble Beast

Phoenix - Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix

Black Eyed Peas – The E.N.D. (OMG! How did that get on here?!?! Wes must have hacked my blog!)

Runners Up

Jenny Owen Youngs – Transmitter Failure

Loney, Dear – Dear John

The Swell Season – Strict Joy

Camera Obscura – My Maudlin Career

A Fine Frenzy – Bomb In A Birdcage

Great Lake Swimmers - Lost Channels

Kings of Convenience – Declaration of Dependence

(500) Days of Summer Soundtrack (Admittedly, this soundtrack consists of mostly pre-existing tracks, but I. Don’t. Care.)

Away We Go Soundtrack (The same disclaimer applies to this soundtrack as well… But what can I say? I love Alexi Murdoch.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yes I realize that I have an odd, eclectic taste in music. It’s not as “hip” and “indie” as a lot of what other people listen to.

I listened to a lot more music than this during 2009. These just happened to be a few of what I thought were the better albums I heard. I may make a “best songs” list at some point, but this was kind of fun. Now back to looking at multiple regression analyses.

Posted in Music. 2 Comments »

End of Semester Implosion

I have been wanting to write a follow up to my Vanity and Guilt post from a while back and to answer comments from my most recent post on Pretentiousness and Elitism… but alas, my reference of time may be different from that of other people’s. It is actually not unheard of for me to answer or follow up on emails weeks or months after-the-fact, so one can apply that same principle to answering comments on my blog. It’s not that I didn’t read your comment or that I don’t have anything to say. I am simply a severe procrastinator – to the extreme.

Speaking of procrastination, right now I have the excuse that it is the end of the semester for me and I have less than two weeks remaining to study for and take a big statistics final, write about 12-16 pages on decision-making, then gather data, run a multiple regression analysis on it, and write an additional gigantic end-of-semester research paper for my stats class. These are not easy feats. As I stated before, I am a master procrastinator. However, in the past I have almost always performed surprisingly well under extremely stressful time-sensitive conditions like these. Actually, this is usually how I perform my best… at the very last minute.

So it’s unlikely that I will see you for another few weeks, fair blog. Wish me luck on not failing my statistics class. I am hoping for a B, but realistically I think a C is more feasible at this point. It looks like my straight-A streak will be broken after this semester. It’s disappointing, but I doubt it will hinder my job prospects in the future.

See you in a few weeks!

On Pretentiousness and Elitism

There is a writer whose blog I occasionally read who writes in the most pretentious style imaginable. I’m not sure if this person only expects PhD candidates to be able to decipher her writing, or if she just believes herself to be so self-important that this is how she really talks. The writing sounds like something out of a freaking Woody Allen movie. I can usually only make it through a few sentences of each blog post, regardless of how fascinating I find the subject, before I start to feel nauseous from the elitism inherent in the writing style.

My blog is titled Suburban Kitsch. I am currently a suburbanite. Kitsch means lowbrow, tacky, tawdry, or appealing to popular or undiscriminating taste. I try to avoid elitist-style pretentiousness in my writing. Sometimes I succeed in that effort at way too far a degree. For example, I actually have to try really hard to keep my bathroom humor in check, especially on my twitter account (tee hee).

The shirt below is an example of kitsch at its absolute finest. For some reason I own it. I think a distant relative may have given it to us unbeknownst to me.

Kitsch at its finest!

Kitsch at its finest!

One day I was digging through my “sleep shirt” drawer and lo-and-behold, this treasure presented itself to me! I had no idea it existed in our house! I proudly put it on and ran around the house loudly singing “Freedom Isn’t Free” from the Team America: World Police soundtrack, and then I may have transitioned into Toby Keith’s “Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (Angry American)” – i.e. the “boot in your ass” song.

Jared immediately pointed out my hypocrisy. “Your blog is called Suburban Kitsch. I thought you were supposed to be against elitism. You are embodying the very thing you are supposed to be against.”

Ouch. Buzzkill.

So then, what is elitism? What constitutes pretentiousness in writing or speech? Surely they are real things. I have observed personally those in the “educated classes” looking down upon those they deem to be inferior and ignorant… I can read plain indignation in the writing on their blogs. Even their writing seethes with judgment and an air of superiority. I observe it at parties. You would think we would have grown past the “cool kid” phenomenon now that we’re adults. But no, the judging of others has simply moved to the intellectual elite who feel they are more fashionable, hip, and educated than those yokel rednecks… regardless of political persuasion.

Personally, I always have to keep myself in check that I do not become like this. It is so easy for me to fall back on my education, my knowledge of news and culture, my one puny trip to Europe, or what I think are my enlightened views, and then use all this to therefore judge so many others. But those people I am judging know SO MUCH MORE than me about many realms of knowledge that I am completely ignorant about. My knowledge is not infallible, and I’m almost never the smartest person in the room. I’m no cooler than anyone else. In fact, I actually use the word “word!” as an exclamation of happiness, so that probably makes me the lamest person on the planet. Basically, I try to never let myself feel too self-important. This is VERY difficult.

I have an ongoing conversation with my husband about what particular words carry the most pretentious connotations when used in regular conversation. Jared feels that the word “fabulous” is extremely pretentious and should never be used by anyone unless they are actually on the TV show Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. He also thinks that the word “atrocious” is about as pretentious as you can get, unless it is referring to a literal atrocity. For my part, I believe that in everyday conversation (at least in mixed company with non-PhD candidates), one should never use words that would be more at home in an academic journal article… for example “onerous,” “obfuscation,” or “pejorative.” In my opinion, using words like those in everyday conversation is just showy and pretentious to the extreme (not that I haven’t ever done it).

How about you? What words do you think have pretentious connotations? Do you care at all about elitism? Do you ever feel like you’re being judged by “intellectual elites,” or are you one yourself? Do you think there was something wrong with my parading around in said shirt while singing a Toby Keith song? (and just in case you didn’t catch it before – I was being a huge smartass while doing so).

And P.S. Freedom costs a buck-o-five.

The most famous Eagles song

Dear readers, I have a plea… Please help me settle a disagreement that has been going on for over a decade now. If I get enough votes in the poll below, maybe, just MAYBE, the person with whom I have this disagreement will finally quit their stupid and completely wrong insistence as to which of these two options is the most famous Eagles song. Please vote. PLEASE vote. I am not telling you which is the correct answer because it is so painfully obvious as to not even warrant a mention.

Thank you for your time.

Vanity and Guilt, Part II

I should start off by saying that I am absolutely terrible at using the art of subtlety to convey sarcasm in my writing. And when I say terrible, I mean TERRIBLE. Frequently when I write a blog post, email, or essay, I will go back and read what I wrote later or have someone else read it, and it becomes evident that I have not at all successfully conveyed the original point that sounded so profound in my head.

In the last post I spent a few paragraphs detailing how much weight I’ve lost over the past 8 months or so. I talked about how all my clothes fit me like clown clothes now, and I griped about the presumptive compliments I’ve been getting. In my head, I was truly not gloating. The weight loss was not a blessing. It sucked. I have been really sick this year. The majority of that last post, including the paragraphs talking about the weight loss, were really just one big bitch-fest about how much it sucked to lose that much weight so fast.

I felt like crap for most of the year, I wish people would not have congratulated me on my weight loss, and I felt guilty when I even dared to feel a shred of pride for being skinny because getting skinny sucked. That is the point I intended to convey in my writing.

Instead, I think I inadvertently wrote a bitterly ironic post titled “Vanity and Guilt” wherein I came off sounding like a vain (ha!) conceited bitch who now spends all her time staring in the mirror at her super-hot bod. Please know that was NOT the message I intended to convey while I was writing the post. Now I’m experiencing the guilt part all over again because everyone who read that original post probably thinks I’m a complete narcissist now.

I never claimed to be the best communicator in the world. Unfortunately I’m a bit rough around the edges and it shows in my writing. Reader beware.