(Suburban) Kitsch, as adj.: A tacky or lowbrow quality or condition.

Dear deadCENTER, since you gave me the most fun 5 days I’ve had in quite some time, I figure I owe  at least a few (albeit belated) words to the wonderful filmmakers who contributed their blood, sweat, and tears to the festival. I have already summed up my deadCENTER EXPERIENCE in another post, so here I’ll just discuss what I believe were the few noteworthy films I saw from the festival.

(note: I apologize up front for the enormous length of this post. I realize it is way longer than most ‘normal’ people would ever want to read. I don’t expect you to read it all, or any of it for that matter. Heck, turn off your computer right now… or go read the Onion or something more entertaining. Why on earth do you even care what I have to say?!?!?!)

Documentary Features: (I actually only saw one narrative, non-documentary, full-length feature, Yesterday – aka the Canadian zombie movie, and it kind of sucked)

Sweethearts of the Prison Rodeo: This film was fantastic. I spoke about it a little bit in one of my first posts from the festival. I could completely relate to the female inmates of the Oklahoma State Penitentiary system featured in this film. I found myself wanting to hang out with them, laugh with them, and hear their stories. I wanted to go talk to them. </redundancy> There is nothing more I can say about this film that hasn’t already been said much more eloquently by the Filmcake or Two-Headed Blog in their reviews of this same film. Just see the film when you get a chance if you haven’t already. I think it’s been picked up by HBO for distribution.

Official Rejection: Very well made and extremely amusing (if a bit self-absorbed) documentary about the perils of navigating the film festival circuit from a filmmaker’s perspective. I was very glad I dragged myself out of bed bright and early at noon to make it to this 2pm screening followed by the discussion panel afterward. I just criticized the film for being self-absorbed, but I really shouldn’t, because that’s what makes it so honest and real. The filmmaker, Paul Osborne, simply made a documentary about his life – about his firsthand experiences. I shouldn’t criticize because I do the very same thing on my blog. This is an eye-opening (and VERY entertaining) documentary for anyone who enjoys “indie” film or considers themselves to be a lover of good art. Also, you “get” to see Lloyd Kaufman’s ass in the film. Um, yeah.

Familiar Voices: This documentary is about the current genocide in the Darfur region of Sudan. I cried. A lot. It is not the best made documentary out there in terms of technical aspects, but it was enlightening to me as to what is happening over there and what we can do about it in our own little ways… even here in Oklahoma, USA. Rape is used as a weapon of war every day in Darfur… women are gang raped by as many as 20 or 30 men, and they are not killed, but they are instead sent home to be pariahs in order to shread the social fabric of their communities. One story was told in the film of a 35 year old mother of 8 who was gang raped… she went home to her husband and he immediately divorced her. This kind of thing makes me want to heavily self-medicate, curl up in a ball, projectile vomit, and then sob in the corner of my room for weeks… but I can’t do that. I am instead compelled to speak out. I am compelled to be a loudmouth. I see injustice and I just can’t keep quiet.

Here are a few places you can start to help… just give $5. Anything will help: Sudan Divestment (educate yourself and don’t let your 401k dollars fund companies whose dollars fund genocide); Doctors Without Borders; Oxfam; and I personally strongly support the work of World Vision (but they’re an explicitly Christian charity so I realize that a lot of people may have a problem giving to such an organization). You can check out the ratings of all these organizations on Charity Navigator, an independent charity evaluator.

Saint Misbehavin’: The Wavy Gravy Movie: Admittedly, I was not in the most sober state of mind to appropriately evaluate this film… however, the parts I remember were GREAT! Hugh Romney really is a kind of saint, and I was truly honored to be able to shake his hand and take my picture with him. I think the man’s life and philosophy is best summed up in this song he likes to sing wherever he goes. It’s called ‘Basic Human Needs.’

Wouldn’t it be neat

If the people that you meet

Had shoes upon their feet

And somethin’ to eat

And wouldn’t it be fine

If all humankind

Had shelter.

Wow. You can also give to Mr. Gravy’s charity, the Seva foundation. For only $50, your gift can restore sight to a blind person! Personally, I think that’s money well spent.

Short Films!:

Comedy Shorts For one, I would like to say that I seriously question the judgment of whoever decided to categorize this particular set of short films as comedy. Only two of these shorts (my two favorites, incidentally), were purely comedic, in my opinion. But on to the reviews…

The SPAM Job: LOL!!! Fortunately I got to see this twice – once at the comedy shorts and once at the best of fest on Sunday. I would like to say that I am glad I never had the misfortune of personally knowing Paddy Culham. The guy seems like a self-obsessed jerk.‡ But his film was hilarious! I highly recommend!

Miracle Investigators: Best short of the entire festival, and I got to see this one THREE times (and it got progressively better with each viewing). My paraphrase of some of the best dialogue exchanges:

“I’ve been pretty New Testament with you up until now… don’t make me go Old!”

“Don’t be scared, I gave up ass-kicking for Lent.”
“But it’s not Lent.”
“I know.”

“He’s lucky we don’t believe in execution … like the Southern Baptists”

“You’re excommunicated, dirtbag!”

This film could not have been more awesome.

Okie Shorts were surprisingly solid:

Hit Boys II Men: I have to give it up to Mark Potts at Singletree Productions… the guy is a phenomenal comedy writer. I read his articles on the OU student website(s) as far back as 2003 or so, and his writing has always been Onion-quality material. He is hilarious. This film was no exception. It was my second favorite comedy short of the entire festival. I laughed all the way through. The timing was great and the writing was great. You can’t make a great film without a great screenplay, and this film had it. Kudos, Mark Potts. I really look forward to seeing your future work. (But I still want a free cookie, dangit! I don’t care if you don’t work at American Cookie Co anymore!).

Safe: 16 yr old and 13 yr old made surprisingly decent short film in 24 hours time. I was impressed.

Sha Sha Jones “Blow My Mind”: Nice little music video and almost the ONLY piece of racial diversity I saw at this entire festival, especially at Okie shorts. Not a fantastic short, but kudos to the deadCENTER programmers for including at least some non-WASPs in the Okie shorts lineup.

My Little Mascot: Wow. If it was really local OCCC students who wrote/produced/edited this film, I am extremely impressed. This short was definitely in my top 5 of the festival, and I probably saw over 30 shorts total. It also took me about 5 days later to figure out that Lucas Ross of Two Movie Guys fame is actually one of the main actors in this film. This film is funny, sweet, and sentimental without being over the top melodramatic. I liked it a LOT.

We Interrupt This Program and The Bags: On both, I thought they were clever and entertaining though not brilliant or anything.

Short Femmes were the best and most solid set of shorts of the entire bunch. There was only one out of the entire bunch that didn’t border on greatness:

Forced Into “Comfort” Fighting for Apology: I saw this film twice and bawled both times. I almost think there is something wrong with you if you can get through this 27 minutes of film without at least tearing up a little bit. This is about the “Comfort Women” forced to work as sex slaves in Japanese military brothels during WWII… these mostly were girls aged 14-16. The surviving women, who are now in their 80s and 90s, still demonstrate weekly demanding an apology from the Japanese government and financial compensation for what was done to them.

Old Days: I LOVED THIS FILM!!! It reminded me of About Schmidt or something else along those lines. Old Days also made it in to my top 5 favorite short films of the festival. I loved Lillian’s free spirit as she struggled to adjust to her new place in the social structure of nursing home life, all the while (deep below the surface) grieving for her dead husband. Lillian served as a role model for me, and I can’t wait until I get a chance to see this wonderful short film again.

Bean: Very strong short film about a smart young girl stuck in a terrible home situation and the (dangerous and morally questionable) decision she makes in order to try to get out of it.

Miscellaneous:

Whore: This film is great. I loved how it portrayed the protagonist (Wendy) – who could have been easily been shown as just another awkward crazy evangelical fundamentalist home-schooled girl – as an intelligent multi-faceted human being with compassion and depth. She (reluctantly) befriends a boy she (later) finds out is gay, all the while carrying around ‘good luck’ trolls to school and at another point wearing a ridiculous “Jesus” shirt. Prarthana Mohan, thanks for not portraying all evangelicals as hate-filled ignoramuses.

Money Please: Very entertaining, but the director needs to be very careful because it came off as though he was almost advocating anarchy at certain points. I’m glad he got a chance to clarify his points immediately following the screening.

I Am So Proud Of You: I may have liked this more than Everything Will Be OK, but I need to watch both films again. I think I was too tired to properly assess it when I saw it on Sunday.

In Brief:

Soulmates: Kind of cute for a campy horror ghost story.

Collector: RIP Brad Renfro. This film was actually very well done and acted, if not very original.

Unmasked: Simple, concise political statement from OU students. I can relate. Very messianic… but was it sacreligious?

Mary’s Ring: Ridiculous, but I liked it.

Divers: Beautiful… major kudos for using Kaki King music!!!

The Burrow Log: Beautifully shot, good job DP! However, very melodramatic. I get it, though. A strong effort.

Gaining Ground: This was great. I see why it showed at best of fest on Sunday… but I’m a sucker for immigration films.

Science Fair (Or: Migratory Patterns…): A good and solid short, but I think there were others more deserving of the best of fest on Sunday… like Hit Boys II Men or Old Days for example.

The Meh / Suck Awards: (I hesitantly post this, knowing that some of the filmmakers may actually read this)

Yesterday: Drinking game: huge fun success! The first 20 minutes were a blast! Movie: EPIC FAIL. This film would have been a great 20 minute short… as a 90-min feature film it was a steaming pile of suck.

Misadventures of Moon Kitty: Dewayne Austin, I was entertained by your film, but WTF? I couldn’t help but feeling like I was watching a complete ripoff of everything Joel Veitch has been doing at rathergood since the early 2000s (I’m a huge fan of rathergood, if you haven’t gathered that by now).

She’s Country: This was 3 minutes of a girl riding around on a horse to a country song… seriously, deadCENTER programmers, how did this pile of crap make it in to the festival? I could make a better film than this on my snapshot camera using the video function.

The short “suck list”: Mudman, Three, Pigman & Little Johnny… I didn’t get these. Feel free to try to convince me otherwise in the comments as to why these were good films, but I thought they sucked. I always love to be convinced.

deadCENTER 2009 was great, and I can’t wait until next year. Again I apologize for the delay in getting my petty little film reviews posted (if they even count for anything). I may write a few more straggling DC posts in the weeks to come, but for now, this concludes SuburbanKitch’s deadCENTER 2009 coverage.

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‡ 6/30/09 edit: Mr. Culham has stated that his preferred term is “jackass” rather than “jerk.” Footnote added to reflect the preference of the man himself.