(Suburban) Kitsch, as adj.: A tacky or lowbrow quality or condition.

Apparently there is a full-on skunk epidemic in Norman. Pinto (the idiot dog) narrowly escaped being sprayed again last night. This time the skunk was in OUR BACKYARD, and we saw the whole chihuahua-on-skunk conflict go down. Pinto, for no reason, suddenly freaked out and zoomed full speed out the doggie door to our backyard, barking wildly. Of course we followed him and turned on the backyard flootlight. He ran right up to a big skunk that was about 15 feet away from our back door. He was freaking out and barking at it right in its face. Fortunately, the skunk only hissed at him and got in a threatening posture. We opened the back door and were screaming at Pinto to come back into the house. Fortunately he did finally come back inside, only narrowly escaping another spraying.

Also, our dogs have never had a flea problem… but in the past month they’ve had fleas crawling all over them. It’s disgusting. I’ve given both of them multiple flea baths, but you’re only supposed to do that about once every 2 weeks, and the fleas always come back within a few days. I put some frontline on both of them last night, and as of right now, the fleas are still there. They’re all supposed to be dead within 24 hours of application, so if I still see any fleas by 9:00 pm tonight, I’m demanding a refund!

Norman is a zoo now, apparently.

In other news, law school sucks and I miss my husband. He feels the same way.

I’m thinking that the skunklets may deserve death after all.

We had our entire house recarpeted on Monday. Our dogs stayed at my parents’ house in Edmond for a few days while we moved furniture around and had the carpet put in. Last night Jared and I went to Edmond to pick up our dogs (who were THRILLED to see us, by the way). Once we got them home, we were concerned about them “marking their territory” on the new carpet because the guy who installed our carpet said that even the best trained dogs usually do pee on new carpet as soon as it’s put in. Our little dogs were so good and have not peed on the new carpet yet as far as we can tell.

An hour after we brought the dogs home last night we were laying in bed about to go to sleep (with the door closed and the dogs in the living room), when we noticed a terrible smell. We went out to investigate and immediately discovered that Pinto got skunked AGAIN… then came inside and walked around and rubbed himself on the brand new carpet.
Poor Pinto and Elmer had to be subjected once again to the discomfort of a peroxide and baking soda bath. The dogs don’t smell like skunk anymore, but our new carpet still does. I sprayed febreeze on it, but I’m sure it will be a few days before the smell fades entirely away.

Happy frolicking or not, I’m thinking that two spraying incidents in a year is two too many. I am now almost mentally prepared for an all out skunk massacre, babies and all.

Jared has figured out that the skunk lair is in the sewer, specifically the drain at the corner of our street by the roundabout. He saw a skunkzilla (not a skunklet) go into that drain last night around around midnight as he was driving home from work (now, why he was coming home from work after midnight is a story in itself). Anyway, we now know where the lair of the skunks is. It’s in the sewer. I picture them having skunk parties down there during the day as everyone is at work. Perhaps they hang out with some mutant ninja turtles down there, I wonder if they know Splinter. Then at night they come out to terrorize the chihuahuas of the neighborhood and eat trash out of our ghetto neighbor’s trash can that they leave dumped over in their backyard.

My vote is still to let the skunks live. Unlike some of my friends who have no moral qualms about shooting armadillos multiple times (then laughing about it), I don’t feel right about calling the city to kill the skunks. The probability of one of them spraying Pinto or Elmer again is low (ok, it’s actually moderate to low), and now I know what to do if it happens again. Perhaps I should check into to the possibility of a “no-kill” pest removal service as a friend suggested, but I highly doubt that such a thing exists for skunk removal.

I saw 3 baby skunks happily frolicking on my street at about 12:30 am the other night (I’m very well attuned to skunk body language so that’s how I knew that they were happily frolicking). Apparently my neighborhood is a breeding ground for hordes of little skunklets. If you’ve ever seen a little skunklet you know that they’re extremely cute.

I’m torn… do I want my neighborhood rid of skunks (and the resulting skunklets), or do I want to run the risk of myself or one of my dogs getting sprayed (again and again)??? Not to mention that according to my vet, skunks are the 1 transmitter of rabies (to dogs) in Oklahoma. He told me in no uncertain terms that if you see a skunk walking around in the daytime, it has rabies. Seeing a skunk at night is unnerving, but at least the worst thing that could happen is you get sprayed and smell terrible for a week.

Who am I to play God, right? The only thing the skunklets have done wrong is to be born smelly, and into a modern world unfriendly to skunks. I would call the city to “get rid” of them, but I know that means certain death for the poor skunklets. People keep (de-scented) skunks as pets, apparently they’re intelligent and sweet little animals if they grow up with humans. Why did these poor little skunklets in my neighborhood have the misfortune of being hated and despised, while I sit with a sweet little loved doglet on my lap (who also happens to be really smelly right now)?

I know we live in a fallen world, but I will always have a slight revulsion to eating any kind of meat. The thought of a slaughterhouse makes me sad, and it doesn’t help much even if it’s as cruelty free as possible (though that does help a lot). The principle is still the same. It really bothers me that conscious beings have to die so I can live. I have moral qualms about killing “pests” in or around my house, even if they’re mice **shudder** or spiders. I know there’s “natural evil” in the world, animals eat other animals in the wild, but something inside me still cries out injustice. The only hope I have is that someday it will all be made right.

I could definitely write a massive blog just on this subject, but the skunk issue remains. As a recap, here’s what I learned from Pinto’s traumatic skunk experience a few months back……. baking soda, peroxide, and dish soap can take that skunk smell right off a dog. Remeber that, and you’ll be fine.

Having your dog get sprayed by a skunk and then promptly run in the house and jump up on your lap is a very traumatic experience. It was a 2 hour ordeal involving me gasping for breath while my poor dogs had to sit in the bathtub for 20 minutes covered in an anti-skunk smell concoction (which fortunately worked very well). I was truly not aware that skunk smell was that overpowering at close range. I actually had to leave the house for awhile for fear of passing out from the smell.

A lesson learned… hydrogen peroxide mixed with baking soda and dish soap really does work for getting skunk smell off of dogs. Pinto and Elmer don’t smell today at all. Now I just have to figure out how to get the smell off our couch. It’s probably going to take a few weeks.